Everyone knows the secret formula to weight loss.
If you are overweight or obese, you already know what actions you must take in order to lose weight. If you are within a healthy weight range, you know what must be done to maintain that weight. And for those who are underweight, that same formula applies in reverse so that you can increase your weight.
Burn more calories than you consume. Less in, more out. Eat less, exercise more. Eat properly and exercise at least three times a week.
The wonderful fact about this formula is that it works. It has been tried and proven time and time again and when it is applied properly and in full, it works.
And there is the caveat. ‘Apply the weight loss formula properly and in full.’
This is where most of us lose our way.
Your weight loss journey is not about eating properly for the next few days, then falling off the wagon and going on a midnight eating binge – for the next week.
Your weight loss journey does not begin by shopping on the periphery of the supermarket in the fresh produce section. If you are not prepared for the road ahead of you, all this fresh produce will certainly go to waste.
Your weight loss journey does not begin, and will surely not end well even if you purchase every convenience gadget for the kitchen to make meal preparation all that easier and faster.
The shopping, the utensils, the meal plans and the hour-long, high-intensity workout you forced yourself to do at daybreak will all be worthless in a couple of days, weeks, or even a month when you throw your hands into the air and admit defeat.
You know what I am talking about. I have been there, several times, and I know you have been there too.
There is a reason why this happens to us, even though we have the best intentions. As the German writer, poet and scientist Johann von Goethe aptly puts it:
Before you can DO something, you must first BE something.
Think about it. The last time you tried to lose weight, on day thirteen you got out of bed very excited in the morning with every intention of eating properly, drinking an adequate amount of water and exercising. At bedtime you were dragging yourself back into bed, disappointed and despondent, and scolding yourself for having the second serving at dinner, the ice cream for dessert, and for skipping today’s 30-minute workout.
And this did not only happen the last time you tried to lose weight. It also happened the time before that, and the time before that. Only difference probably was, it happened on day five, or day 27.
Trust me when I tell you that ‘before you can DO something, you must first BE something’. Take some time to think about this, and relate it to other areas of your life where you tried to accomplish something over the long term, but gave up before your achieved it.
Do you think that if you were a person who is disciplined, who is able to control yourself, and who loves and respects yourself more than you love the artificial, fleeting taste of ice cream, you would have been crawling into bed frustrated and in despair? I don’t think so.
You have to BE, before you can DO.
Burn more calories than you eat. That is how everybody loses weight. So why haven’t you been able to do it?
It is how your obese pre-school teacher person lost her weight. It is how the overweight mailman lost his weight. The chubby girl from high school used the same formula to lose her extra pounds.
So why can’t you do it? What do they have that you do not have? The secret weight loss formula? No, you already have that. Less in, more out, remember?
They have self-love and self-control.
That is the real secret. The ABILITY to APPLY the formula FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES to achieve what you want to achieve.
And that ability comes from self-love and self-control.
Simple, right! Yet most people who are trying to lose weight, struggle with this. We know the formula. We have applied it. We have proven that it works. Yet we are not at our ideal weight right now.
Because we could not do it for the long haul.
I would risk saying that you have lost weight before. I have as well. I would also risk saying that you have gained the weight back, maybe even more than you had lost.
I am not exaggerating when I say to you that I have lost ten pounds on about 25 different occasions in my life. And many other persons I know have done the same – because most times we did it together.
And every single time without fail, we gained the weight back.
It got to a point where, rather than admit defeat when we fell back into old habits, we would rationalize by saying, ‘we know how to get the weight off, so it does not matter that we are gaining now’.
Everyone who has deliberately lost weight before, first made a conscious decision to go through the process of eating healthily, exercising regularly, drinking plenty of water. And that’s what we do.
Day 1, day 2, day 3. The enthusiasm is bubbling and we are rolling all over ourselves. Day 10, day 11, day 12. It’s not just only a chore. Day 18, day 19, day 20. Its now another story to tell about that time you tried losing weight and it did not work.
For a while. That is exactly how long we stick with it every single time. Just a little while.
One of our problems is that we begin doing what is necessary to lose weight ‘cold turkey’. And before we know it the old and familiar qualities, characteristics, habits and subconscious drives that make up our psyche, take over again and bring us back to our usual selves, sometimes to our knees.
So for a while is not long enough.
We have to develop those qualities that allow us to stay with the process long enough to override the old and familiar patterns, habits, and subconscious drives that brought us to this point in our lives.
The Answer to Weight Loss
So the answer to losing weight, or to achieving anything else in this life as a matter of fact, starts with becoming that kind of person with that certain set of qualities that are necessary to take you past ‘for a while’. Qualities that move you into the realm of powerful routines, momentum that propels you forward, practice that makes it perfect’, and new and rewarding habits, patterns and drives.
To get to this point, you will need discipline, resilience and focus.
And all this begins with self-love, and self-control, in that specific order.
There is nothing more powerful than a changed mind.
Using will power alone will not work. If your goal is to lose 10 pounds and you pushed through for however long it takes forcing yourself to eat properly and exercise regularly until you lose those 10 pounds, you will succeed.
But the moment you lose that last ounce that takes you to your desired weight, you will start gaining every ounce back again.
Why? Because you can no longer sustain the grind and significant effort it took to get you to that point. You will feel good that you persevered and reached the goal, but what next?
You are the same old person, you did not enjoy the journey, and there is a much easier path that you can take. The path of least resistance. The path of the old and familiar. You become ‘you’ again, living by the habits, patterns and drives that make life comfortable.
Doing, doing, doing will not be enough and you will find you suffer from burn-out very quickly, Running to the supermarket to the fresh produce section and purchasing all the brightly-colored vegetables and fruits will not keep you going for the long haul.
Neither will taking out a one-year membership at the local gym, purchasing the latest boot-camp workout, or You-Tubing it for the next few mornings.
All these things are useful but on their own will will not get you to where you want to be. Before you lose the 10 pounds the fruits and vegetables will spoil in the fridge. Before you lose the 10 pounds you will revert to ice cream and chocolates and cakes. Before you lose the 10 pounds the boot-camp DVD will be catching dust on the shelf and you will be using You-Tube just to watch your favorite movies.
Stop setting yourself up for failure over and over and over again.
I have heard the saying ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’. But I want you to recognize that ‘nothing on the outside changes, if nothing on the inside changes’. You have to change your mindset.
You have to have something going on on the inside, that manifests itself on the outside.
If you continue doing just what you have been doing all along and expect different results, the more disappointed you will become when you ‘fail’ again. The more frustrated you will become about losing weight, at yourself, and others.
You will begin to loathe yourself for not being able to achieve your goals, and that alone will place you back into your comfortable, old and familiar patterns – exercising infrequently or not exercising at all and eating foods that are unhealthy and destructive to your body.
First Steps to Lasting Weight Loss
The 1st steps you have to take in order to make lasting changes in your life is to develop, purposefully develop, self-love, and then self-control. These are the two non-negotiable, essential qualities for achieving anything you want in life, including losing weight.
And for some, this may be very difficult. But I will teach you how to achieve this.
You have to know, that we you know, that you love yourself enough to make these changes in your life because they will benefit us in the long term and we can finally step off the roller coaster.
We have to get to the point where we are not doing it so that someone else can love us, so that anyone else will love us, or because anyone else loves us. We love them too. Great.
You are doing this because you love yourself. You are putting the brakes on everything else and demonstrating self-love and self-control at a level you have never done before. When you love yourself, and you are constantly mindful of it, everything you do, or not do, is a result of this self-love. You will find that you go above and beyond, without much effort, and without feeling like you are making sacrifices, to maintain that ideal.
You forget about weight loss. You forget about losing 10 pounds again. You forget about tighter muscles, slimmer arms and legs, and perky breasts and chests. You ignore how difficult burpees are, and how simple crunches make you sore in the abdomen for days.
You love yourself and you simply do what needs to be done as a demonstration of that self-love. The results of these actions are perks and welcomed side-effects.
Here is where we make the changes that will last – developing love of self and control of self.
Everything you do from here on will be based on this. You will eat, drink, move and breathe self-love.
And this will come to an end only when we stop loving ourselves. When will that be?
So since we have been struggling with weight loss for a long time, on the perpetual seesaw of weight loss life, it may be fair to say that we have not yet developed or self love and self control to the point where they are not negotiable and strong enough to see us through whatever we set our minds to.
So the first thing we are going to do is work on developing self love then work on developing self control.
Remember that you are not doing it for the children – when they are not around you for a while, you will find that you fall back into bad habits.
You are not doing it for your spouse – when the spouse upsets you on Tuesday, you know you will not workout Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, because you ain’t doing anything that will please them until the relationship is on point again.
And don’t even let me get started with the comfort food.
The Guaranteed Weight Loss Formula
Self-Love + Self-Control + Vigorous Exercise – Excess Calories = Lasting Weight Loss
We already have some degree of love for ourselves, and that is why we have been trying so hard for so long to bring our bodies back into alignment with that which is healthy, strong and wholesome.
I however believe that we can focus more on increasing that love so that it will sustain us through the tough times in our personal development – and there will be tough times.
With a high degree of self-love comes to ability to demonstrate the level of self control needed to make sure that we eat right, we exercise as needed, and we live the life that will make us better people.
Because we love ourselves we will be able to follow all the scientific rules that are needed to make sure that we achieve whatever fitness goals and weight loss goals we set ourselves. We set those goals because we love ourselves. We want to see ourselves succeed. We want to be healthy. We want to live life gloriously and we know now that it is much easier to achieve than we thought.
You will so realize that the benefits and side effects of self love and self control are tremendous. In several areas of life you will see the rewards of being able to love and control yourself.
You will notice it in your health and fitness levels, your nutritional choices, your finances, the quality of your relationships, your chosen career path, in your personal development, and in your overall quality of life, just to mention a few areas.
Knowing the formula is not enough.
Knowledge becomes a burden when we do not
apply it to our lives to achieve the desired results.
Applying the formula for two weeks or two months is not enough.
This only keeps you on the perpetual roller coaster
of weight-gain, weight-loss.
You have to become someone who loves self more than the transient conveniences and attractiveness of those things which are not in alignment with your ideals.
You have to become someone who consistently exercises control over yourself, and by extension over the choices you make. And when it comes to weight loss everything is a choice:
exercise today or do not exercise;
have water with lunch or a soda just this once;
pass up dessert because the available choices will exceed my daily calorie intake or ignore my plan on this occasion.
And on it goes.
If you are tired of yo-yo diets and the continuous cycle of weight-loss and weight-gain, click here to learn how to learn and apply the principles of self-love and the principles of self-control in order to achieve your ideal weight and everything else you desire in life.
And if you are still not feeling the urge to start dishing out some serious self-love, listen to this up-tempo song by the versatile Barbadian artiste ‘Lil Rick’ entitled ‘I Like Muyself’. I am sure that in less than 30 seconds into the song, you will have a different feeling about yourself. Trust me.
As you all may know, I live in the Caribbean, home of calypso and soca, Crop Over Festival and Carnival. And whenever I am tempted to go against my ‘non-negotiables’, I pull up this song on whatever device is nearby and after just a few seconds, I am back in the game and rocking it.
My favorite line apart from ‘I Like Muyself’, is ‘Ain’t nuttin out dey I like betta dan me’. For those of you who do not understand the dialect, this means ‘there is nothing out there that I like more than I like myself’.
Take a listen, and enjoy.
I would love to hear from you. If you have any comments or queries about You Choose Your Income, or would just like to share your online story, feel free to drop me a comment below, and I will be sure to respond.
Or you can hang out with me at my new online business location and we can bounce ideas off each other.
Here’s to choosing!